You’ve met a terrific guy, and you want to see more of him. Text messages are part of the modern dating world, especially considering how powerful texting is for increasing interest from a guy you like. While you’re getting to know him better, it’s important to know what to text a guy to keep him interested in you.
Texting a guy you like can be a little stressful, but the pressure intensifies if you suspect he’s losing interest. To keep him from digitally fading away, you might ask, “How can I keep his attention? What should I text him?” In that case, the following principles can make texting him much easier.
Ask Thoughtful Questions
Well-thought questions can drive a meaningful conversation, whether in real-time or over text. If you enjoy getting questions about your life, hobbies, or likes, then consider that your guy would want the same thing. After you text him a question, respond to his answer in a way that shows you care and are interested. Ask him about his hobbies, family, job, or whatever you want to know more about. He’ll naturally respond in kind.
If you have trouble getting started, ask him how his day is going. Pay attention to how he answers and respond appropriately. Follow up with another question. It’s best not to ask him about his day too often. Your questions should be fresh and touch on other topics.
What did you think about Wednesday’s lecture in Early American Lit class?
Wasn’t your job interview today? How’d it go?
Has your brother arrived yet? What do you have planned for his first night in town?
What accomplishment of yours are you most proud of?
Is there something about you that no one else knows?
Tell me something from your childhood that you remember fondly. (implied question)
Be a Positive Person
It’s normal to have a bad day. Not everyone feels great all the time. Suppose you’ve been texting a guy for a while. In that case, it can be tempting to vent your frustrations to him, especially if he’s the emotionally available type. Still, too much negativity can kill any interest he might have in you. Also, too many negative texts can give him the impression that you don’t have a handle on your life.
You don’t always have to hide your negative feelings. However, you might want to curb the downer texts in the beginning. In the early stages of dating, you should give your best impression. So, keep the messages positive. If your relationship develops, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to pour your heart out, especially if your guy promises to be a soft place to land. Here are some messages of positivity you can try or adapt:
Can you believe I got a flat tire? But guess what? I was able to fix it by myself.
I read this article about The Rolling Stones, and it reminded me of you.
We have such beautiful weather. Wish you could enjoy it with me.
Wow, it’s hot out. The one good reason for cold showers, right?
Hey, I liked how you reached out to me yesterday. It makes me feel good knowing I was on your mind.
I have a problem. I can’t stop thinking of you. 😉
Who doesn’t enjoy a good laugh? Show your guy you have a sense of humor. Most men love funny women. If you can establish early on that you can tickle his funny bone, you just might win him over. You don’t even have to rely solely on your words; send him that funny meme you saw on Twitter the other day.
Think you’re ready for our hoops match? Be prepared for defeat.
You made your way into my heart, and now I don’t want you to leave.
If you come over, I’ll give you all your favorites: tacos, beer, and me . . . and not necessarily in that order.
Sigh. Where’s my spider squasher when I need him?
If you spend the night, I promise I won’t wear my granny panties this time.
Going out with the girls. Shall I drunk-text you later?
Don’t Send Boring Texts
Avoiding falling into the texting pattern of “Hey” or “Hi there.” You probably don’t appreciate getting these texts, so don’t put him through it. You know you can come up with tons of more interesting things to keep your guy engaged, and it doesn’t take more than a few extra seconds of your time.
Hey, sweetie. How did the presentation go?
Hi, honey. How about Indian for dinner tonight?
Hey. What’s shakin’ besides the leaves on the trees?
Hey, sexy. You’ve been in my thoughts all morning.
I miss you.
Hi. What are your weekend plans? Hope they include me!
Enjoy the Chase
It’s okay to be the first one to text . . . occasionally. But you shouldn’t always initiate. If you know he’s into you, give him a chance to text first. Although it’s modern for women to make the first move, remember that most guys still enjoy the chase. When he does text you first, don’t take too long to respond and be engaging and lively when you do.
Thanks! It’s really nice to hear from you.
I’m great, thanks. What are you up to tonight?
That’s okay if you can’t make it. I’ve been super busy myself.
So glad to hear from you. How have you been?
Seek His Advice
It’s okay to be an independent woman who can do things for herself. However, no one goes through life without a little help once in a while. Your guy likely would enjoy helping you out with a problem. You don’t have to take all his advice, but at least appreciate his assistance. In most areas of life, asking for advice can be beneficial because it can leave a good impression.
My car makes a squealing noise when I turn the steering wheel. Any idea what’s causing that?
My brother’s birthday is coming up. Any ideas for a guy who already has everything?
How should I prepare tonight’s pork chops—grill or broil?
Any ideas on where in the living room I should place my new couch?
Have Your Own Life
Your guy doesn’t want to think he’s the center of your universe—unless he’s a narcissist. If your texts suggest that all your plans, thoughts, and decisions revolve around him, you’ll lose his interest quickly because there’s no chase for him.
Indeed you have friends and family, a job, and other interests. Don’t hide the fact that you have a complete life that doesn’t always include him. That said, give him a reason to lobby for your attention. Even though you look forward to seeing and talking to him, don’t feel the need to say “yes” to him all the time, especially if you have something else going on.
I’d love to go out tomorrow night, but I promised my sister I’d join her for drinks. How’s Thursday?
Hey! I’m actually out with my friends. Can I call you later?
This Indian place serves the best Palak Paneer. You’d love it! [include photo]
I’ll be at my parents’ place this weekend. But I can’t wait to see you when I get back.
Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I was out for happy hour with my coworkers.
Pay Him a Compliment
One way to keep a guy interested is to stroke his ego. It’s an easy win because most guys don’t get enough compliments. Every few texts you send should include something that makes him feel good about himself. Just be yourself, and text something only if you genuinely believe it. Be subtle and don’t go too far in your compliment; otherwise, it’ll just feel like flattery. Try complimenting him on his clothes, intelligence, sex appeal, or anything else you find attractive.
I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh.
Have you been working out? It sure looks like it.
My girlfriends all think you’re funny, and I couldn’t agree more!
You’re so handy around the house. I think I’ll keep you 😉
What a great date we had. You know how to treat a lady.
I caught the end of your speech. It was so good I regret missing the rest of it.
Avoid Pointless Messages
Do you roll your eyes when you see someone on Facebook post what kind of cereal they had that morning? That’s how your guy might feel if you go nuts with daily updates like, “I just had spaghetti for dinner” or “Wearing my favorite blouse today.” If he receives this kind of text, he might think, “I don’t know what to do with this,” and either respond rudely or not at all.
Men are accustomed to exchanging information; if a guy receives information, his natural tendency is to respond with more—if it’s useful. Therefore, if you want to send an update, make it exciting or something practical. You don’t want to waste his time.
Hi, honey! I just read this excellent article, which reminded me of our conversation yesterday. I’m interested to know what you think.
Hey! Just confirming our movie plans tonight.
Just bought a new blouse. It’s the color you like on me.
I’m bored. But getting a text from you will take away that boredom.
Text Like a Grown-up
Texting shortcuts are okay if a couple has dated a while and they’ve developed a pattern with each other. But if you’re trying to impress a guy, just act your age. You can use abbreviations like LOL sparsely, but take the extra seconds to spell out words to avoid misunderstandings. The shortcuts aren’t as cute as you might think. Do yourself a favor and avoid childish texts such as these:
CUL8R – See you later.
Thnx – Thanks.
UR – your
2day – today
B4 – before
Plz – please
Time Your Responses Carefully
Timing can make a difference when it comes to responding to a guy’s text. On the one hand, try not to shoot him a response two seconds after he texts; this will make you look clingy if you do it a lot. On the other hand, don’t wait too long to return his text. You don’t want him to forget about you and move on to another woman to text.
Timing has nothing to do with playing games. It’s about being strategic and letting him know that you’re into him and worth the wait. If you’re texting back and forth in a conversation, then it’s okay to be quicker on your reply. Otherwise, if he texts you out of the blue, you can get away with waiting for a half-hour or more, especially if you’re busy.
Rein in the Emojis
Emojis can come in handy when expressing emotions, sarcasm, or intent over text. There’s nothing wrong with jazzing up a text with an emoji. Just don’t overdo it. A text that’s littered with five or more emojis will come across as immature unless that’s something you and your boyfriend typically do. If you’re unsure how to proceed, try matching your guy’s style by mirroring the number and type of emojis he uses.
Oh, no. I haven’t been missing you at all. [smiley with tongue sticking out]
I haven’t seen you all week! [sad face with tears]
You’re hot! [smiley with hearts for eyes]
You’re paying for dinner tonight. [winky face]
Spice Things Up with “Never Have I Ever”
Anybody who’s played “Truth or Dare” or “Never Have I Ever” is familiar with the excitement involved. Playing a flirty text version of this game is a great way to get to know your guy and spark his interest in you. You could end up telling each other some great stories.
Start the texting by completing the phrase, “Never have I ever . . .” If he texts that he’s done the thing you reference, you can either ask for details or send another phrase. If he says he hasn’t done that thing, then it’s his turn to send you a “never have I ever” text. To get you started, here are some ideas: Never have I ever . . .
. . . gone skinny dipping.
. . . been to Mexico.
. . . broken a bone.
. . . had major surgery.
. . . kissed someone of the same gender.
. . . waited tables at a restaurant.
Text Him a Photo
Not all texts have to be wordy. Sometimes the best way to draw a guy’s interest is with a photo. We’re not necessarily talking about risqué pics, but images that reveal more about you and your personality. Don’t send too many selfies or pictures of you, or he’ll think you’re self-centered. The photo doesn’t even have to be of you; it can be a funny meme or a beautiful nature photo he’d like. Be sure to ask him to share his photos, too.
Just finished cooking lasagna. Wish you were here to try it.
This pic made me laugh out loud. What do you think?
Are you wearing your new business suit today? Let me see it!
I’m pictured here with my cousin, Jim. His sense of humor is a lot like yours.
Use a Little Sex Appeal
If at least some of your text exchanges have been flirty, then send your guy a sexy, seductive text. Turn up the heat by being a little playful and suggestive. If you’re not used to sending hot texts, just go easy at first and just see if you can get him to respond in kind. Always remember: If you don’t feel comfortable sending sexy texts, don’t do it. A worthy guy wouldn’t want you to.
I almost want to tell you what I’m thinking right now. Hint: It’s about you.
I was at Victoria’s Secret this afternoon. [smiley with tongue sticking out]
Spent way too much time in the shower this morning. I was thinking of you.
I wonder what your clothes would look like on the bedroom floor.
The next time we have dinner together, maybe I can be your dessert.
Avoid Texting Each Other for Too Long
It’s normal to do a lot of texting back and forth when you’re just getting to know someone. However, you probably want your guy to become more than just a digital pen pal. Communicating primarily through text can be limiting because it’s hard to have a deep, meaningful conversation when you’re not in person or talking on the phone.
If you don’t want your guy to grow bored with texting, it’s time to step it up. If you haven’t yet been out on a date, perhaps drop a hint about being asked out, like, “I hear that restaurant serves great food.” Give him a chance to respond with something like, “Why don’t we go together?” Here are some other texts to try:
I’ve been dying to go to that art gallery opening.
My phone is about to die. Can we continue this conversation over coffee?
Texting with you is fun, but it’s not the only way I want to talk to you.
I’m going to grab a coffee at noon at the corner shop. Want to join me?
Stay Away from Heavy Topics
There’s a time and place for everything, including emotional or controversial topics. They will occasionally come up when two people have been dating a while. However, when you’re chatting up a guy you just met, avoid sending texts about things like religion, politics, and, especially, your ex-boyfriend.
Texting in the early stages is supposed to be fun and exciting. More serious topics are better left to in-person conversations when it’s easier to read each other’s nonverbal cues and avoid misunderstandings. Leave the heavy stuff for when it’s absolutely necessary or when you know each other better.
Don’t Text Him Too Often
If you’re in a serious relationship, frequent texting is not something you should worry about. However, in the early dating stages, there is such a thing as too much too soon. Texting him too often can suggest that you’re needy or clingy. If you’re concerned that he hasn’t answered your text in a while, cut him some slack. He might have family, friends, a job, or other activities taking his attention at the moment.
Remember that Fewer is Better
If you haven’t heard back from a guy in a long while, it can be tempting to send another text, and another, and another . . . just to make sure he got your texts. This strategy will only backfire. Unless you’ve been dating him for a long time, you need to keep your texts to a minimum between his responses. Getting lots of texts from you might seem fun at first. But after a while, he might start thinking that things are moving too quickly. Take it easy; you don’t want to scare him off.
Texting is a normal part of a budding romance, which means keeping a guy interested in you has never been easier. It won’t be hard if you can make him laugh, ask thoughtful questions, flirt, spice things up, or just play it cool.
Whatever has worked for you in the past might play well through texting. It all comes down to communication—listening, observing his behaviors, thinking before expressing yourself, and being sincere. These simple principles will help you know how to keep a guy interested through text.