Texting is one of our most common modes of communication, and it’s become an integral part of the dating life. When a guy attracts your attention, you want to know how he feels about you. There’s a good chance you can gain some insight from his texts.
There are many ways to make sense of how a guy feels about you by looking at his texting behavior. Although it can be challenging to determine a guy’s intention, you can look for specific clues and be aware of the cues that give away his interest level.
How to Know If Someone Is Interested in You through Texting
Figuring out a guy’s interest in you through text might seem tricky. With text alone, you can’t rely on vocal tone or body language to get a sense of his feelings. Never fear; there are clear cues from texts that suggest he’s into you.
He texts just because he feels like it. These just-because texts are NARTs: No Apparent Reason Texts. He just wants to check in and let you know he’s thinking of you. He might even be looking for an excuse just to text you, which is a great sign.
- That last chemistry lecture was boring. What did you think about it?
- I’m bored. But getting a text from you will take away that boredom.
- Just thinking of you. Hope you’re having a great day.
He misses you. It’s sometimes easy to tell through text if a guy is craving your company. Relish these texts and realize that it’s nice to be missed.
- Too bad we didn’t get to talk last night. I miss your cute jokes.
- Miss our sweet texts. Feel like chatting a bit?
- I miss you. Hugs and kisses.
He tries to figure out whether you have a boyfriend. Many guys are too shy to simply ask outright. Most guys don’t want to make a girl feel awkward, so they might try to find a subtle way to text you about it.
- Did you go to that party alone?
- I bet you have guys chatting you up all the time, right?
- I’d ask you out, but I bet you’re already taken, huh?
He’s not afraid to text first. A guy who’s not afraid to send the first text could be a keeper. See if he reaches out first and actually tries to engage you in a conversation. That’s much better than a guy who always gives a short reply to a text you send first.
He’s reliable. A respectable guy does what he says he’ll do, and he follows through on his commitments. Sometimes a guy will show through text that he’s reliable by confirming plans with you. He’ll also be specific about places, dates, and times. A reliable guy also won’t cancel on you at the last minute if something “better” comes up. If your guy drops the ball on a date, give him a chance to acknowledge his mistake and make things right.
- Accident on the highway. Will be 15 minutes late, but I’ll still be there.
- We’re still on for the party tonight, right?
- Oh no! I forgot to text you at 10:00, like I said I would. I’m so sorry! Can you chat now?
He texts you about something that reminds him of you. It might be hard for your guy to express how he feels. One way to overcome this fear is to text you about something that reminds him of you. Whether it’s a song or someone he ran into, it made him think of you.
- That song we danced to at the party? I just heard it on the radio.
- I was talking to a friend, and he mentioned you. Coincidence?
He tries to find out more about you. Does he ask questions about you and your life? Watch for questions that get at your more personal aspects, and respond in kind. If he brings up little things he learned about you earlier, that means he’s paying attention.
- I came from a big family. How about you?
- You said you’re a marketing major. Why did you decide on that?
- I take it you like live music. Any local bands you like?
He texts you when he’s out with his friends. If your guy still thinks about you when he’s out with his friends, he definitely likes you. He might even want you there with him, even if he’s already having a great time.
- Having a great time with the bros, but wish you were here to enjoy this, too.
- Just hanging with the guys. What are you up to tonight?
- Wish you were here. I’m sure the guys would like to meet you.
He texts to show genuine concern for you. It’s nice when a guy texts to ask how you’re doing. He might even be the kind of guy who feels protective over you, which can be nice. Make sure you show your appreciation for it; it’ll make him feel needed and important.
- Did you get home okay after the movie?
- Text me so that I know you got home, okay?
- You seemed stressed today. Everything okay?
He wants to help you with a problem. Your guy might be a problem-solver. Helping you with a problem will make him feel needed. Try mentioning something you need help with; he’ll likely try to come up with a solution.
- Let me know if there’s something I can help you with.
- If you’re worried about paying for those concert tickets, I can certainly help with the cost.
- Sorry your TV’s not working. Maybe I can come over and take a look?
He compliments you. A guy who truly knows how to text a compliment will find subtle things about you. The more subtle that thing is, the more he likes you and is paying attention.
- You’ve got the prettiest eyes.
- I really liked the perfume you wore the other day.
- I’m not ashamed to say it . . . Those jeans you wore looked hot on you.
- That photo you just uploaded on Instagram is gorgeous!
He tries to make you laugh. If he sends a text that makes you laugh or chuckle, good for you! He’s trying to impress you with his wit and win you over. His ultimate goal is to make you smile.
- I wanted to send you something that would make you smile, but I couldn’t fit into the shipping box.
- I want to take you out to dinner and say those three words: “Dinner’s on me.”
- Slow down! You’ve been running through my mind.
You both share an inside joke. That inside joke is a clue that you share a unique bond with your guy. Some inside jokes can spur beautiful memories that define your relationship later on. Referencing an inside joke with a text is another way for him to show you he’s thinking of you.
- [Refer to a song lyric] Missing the way you “put your head on my shoulder.” Haha!
- Hey, Pookie. What are you doing, Pookie? LOL
- How about another date at the coffee shop? I want to show you I can drink a chai without spilling it.
He texts you when something important happens. Did he win an award, ace an exam, or earn a promotion? Getting a text from him right away signals that he wants you to be proud and celebrate with him.
- You know that promotion I was gunning for? I finally got it!
- Aced that exam! Thanks so much for helping me study for it.
- I heard back about that job offer. Wanna join me for dinner to celebrate?
He drunk-texts you. There’s the saying, “A drunk person’s words are a sober person’s thoughts.” With alcohol in his system, your guy is less inhibited to show his feelings for you. The biggest red flag is when he texts you only when he’s drunk; he’s probably hoping for just a booty call.
How Guys Text When They Like You
You already know that there are several reasons a guy who likes you is motivated to text you. There are also some common tell-tale signs to look for in those texts.
He texts you often. If a guy likes you, he’ll probably text you in the morning, in the evening, and anytime in between. If you’re having a texting conversation with him throughout the day, then there’s something real going on between you two. It’s also a good sign if you text about every day.
He sends more than one-word texts. It’s no fun when a guy just sends you “Hi” messages. On the other hand, a guy who likes you will put some thought into his messages and send something with substance. He’s also likely trying to send a text that engages you.
- Hi there. I really enjoyed our conversation last night. Any chance we could pick up where we left off?
- You said you’re into comedy movies. How about we check out the latest flick by [insert comedy movie director].
- That band we heard last night was good. Have you heard them before?
He uses a pet name for you. Pet names are signs of flirtation. While it can be unnerving to have a guy call you a pet name too soon, a pet name from a crush signals his way of being cute and wanting more intimacy. If he gives you a pet name, be flattered!
- Hey, Sweetie. What are you up to?
- You were lookin’ great tonight, Baby.
- Hey Sugarlips, how about a date?
He laughs at the things you say. A quality guy will appreciate your sense of humor, even your bad puns. Look for laughing emojis, “Haha,” “LOL,” “LMAO,” or other shorthand. Try a joke and see how he reacts. If he laughs in his text or at least tries to be polite in his response, it’s a good thing.
He asks questions. A guy will text you a question if he wants a response or a conversation to get to know you better. If he asks you a question, don’t leave him hanging. Reply with something that sparks an exchange. If he brings up something you mentioned in earlier texts or conversations, he’s paying attention.
- Want to go grab something to eat?
- I know you just started that class. Is there anything I can help you with?
- How did you get such a beautiful smile?
He uses lots of emojis, especially the flirty ones. Your guy might be using emojis is to keep things lively. Another reason is that sending an emoji blowing a kiss is much less awkward for him than just saying he likes you. However, the use of emojis might not be a clear sign if he’s the kind of guy who typically uses lots of emojis, regardless of who he’s texting.
He responds right away. A guy who likes you will respond to your text as soon as he can. Even if he’s busy, he still wants to make time for you, even if it’s over text. If he can’t exchange texts with you until later, he’ll let you know, so you’re not left hanging.
He texts you during the day. A guy who texts you between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM shows respect for you and your time. If you text back and forth with him throughout the day, that’s an excellent sign! An even better indication is if he texts you good morning.
- Morning, cutie!
- Have a great day. XOXO
- Knock ‘em dead at your presentation!
His texts are long and detailed. A typical guy doesn’t like to type a long text message, unless it’s for someone he likes. A detailed message from a guy suggests that he wants to give you his attention and enjoys interacting with you. Longer messages also allow him to share more information about himself.
He texts you good night. Although we said late-night texts are a red flag, it’s different when he texts you right before he goes to bed. If he does this, that means he’s thinking of you, and he hopes you’re doing the same! A good night text is intimate; he wouldn’t send it to just anyone.
- I only have dreams for you. Good night.
- Good night. Hope to see you in my dreams.
- Good night to the last person who’s on my mind tonight.
How to Ask a Guy If He Likes You Over Text
Even after looking for the signs that he likes you, you might still be in doubt. If you’re brave enough, you might consider asking him if he likes you. But you don’t want to appear needy. Here are some ways to ask him safely:
Just ask him. Of course, that can seem scary, but you need to know. At this point, uncertainty doesn’t serve you. Even if it turns out that he doesn’t like you, at least you’ll know, and you’ll be able to move on.
- I gotta ask . . . Do you like me?
- Forgive me for being bold, but is there a chance that you like me?
- Have you developed feelings for me?
Subtly ask him. You have to know if he likes you, but you’re still feeling shy. Sometimes subtlety gets the job done. It gives you a low-risk option, so a rejection will feel less awkward.
- Would it be weird if I told you that I like you?
- Hey, I’m really into you. Want to do something about it?
- I’ve enjoyed our conversations. I just want to know if things are going anywhere.
Be confident. Confidence is sexy, and if you’ve been sensing some attraction from your guy, perhaps a statement with self-confidence is what you need.
- I’m a great catch, and you’d be lucky to have me as a girlfriend!
- I’m picky about who I spend my time with, but you’ve passed the litmus test.
- We have great chemistry together.
How Do You Know through Text If a Guy Isn’t Into You?
He refers to other girls or asks for your advice on them. A guy doesn’t really like you if he’s asking about your “hot” friend. He might even ask you to help him get connected with her.
He’s only interested in sexting. If the guy tries to get you to sext with him and doesn’t want to talk about anything else, he probably doesn’t like you in the way you deserve. There’s a good chance he’s sexting other people. If it’s someone you don’t know well, think twice about sending any intimate photos.
He takes a long time to respond to your texts. If you have to wait for days for a guy to get back to you, he probably doesn’t want to carve out time for you. If the guy is worth it he won’t make you wait.
His compliments are unoriginal. It’s normal to want to hear phrases like, “You’re beautiful.” However, such compliments lack depth. If he compliments you but can’t refer to any unique characteristics about you, he might not be sincere.
His texts are short. A short “Hi” or “K” means he doesn’t want to put much effort into texting you. A short text likely means he doesn’t want you to text back.
He only drunk-texts late at night. The time from 12:00 AM to 6:00 AM is what you have to watch out for. If you only get a text from him during the wee hours, don’t expect true love to blossom. He’s probably just looking for a hook-up.
He only texts you when he’s drunk. He may come across as lonely and not into you. If a guy really likes you, he’ll text you when he’s sober.
There are common signs to tell you whether a guy likes you. However, deciphering text messages isn’t an exact science, and there’s always the possibility of misunderstandings. The way to avoid conflicts or awkwardness is to look at the texts in a broader context. Always take them into consideration with facial expressions, vocal cues, and other forms of body language. Once you have the motives and the cues down, have some fun with it!