Dating can feel like an annoying game. At first, things are great. You’re meeting up and having fun text conversations. However, you soon realize that you’re the one always texting the guy first. You might wonder, “Why isn’t he texting me first? Is he trying to ghost me?” Perhaps he’s not that into you, especially if it takes him a while to text you back.
But don’t just write the guy off. Maybe he’s into you and not into texting. Even guys who do like texting don’t take the initiative to text first all the time. However, you don’t have to settle for this scenario. If the guy likes you, he’ll make an effort. He might just need a little nudge Here’s how to get a guy to text you first.
Make Sure He’s the Texting Type
His dislike of texting might not be about you. Even if he texts occasionally, maybe he’d rather talk to you in person or on the phone. If his texts are short and superficial, or if he insists on using the phone, then texting is not his thing. You also can ask him about his texting preferences. He won’t mind a reminder to text you once in a while if he likes you.
Don’t Text Him
Does not texting a guy back make him want you more? In some cases, yes! If you’re always the first to text, or if you answer every text he sends, he’ll take for granted that you’ll keep doing it. Put down the phone, hold off on the texts, and make him miss you enough so that he takes initiative. Leave him wanting you more. Make sure you stay busy in the meantime, so you don’t obsess about whether he’s texted you.
Give Him a Reason to Text You
If you want a guy to text you first, you have to bait the hook. Give him a reason or excuse to send you a text. Like or retweet something he posted on social media, or leave a comment. You can even post something he might take an interest in.
However, there is a life outside of social media. Make sure your conversations with him are exciting and fun. Tell your best joke and see if he texts you back to try to one-up you. Your goal is to give him an excuse to text you back and do it first.
Attraction—that’s the underlying factor in dating. Let’s face it–a guy won’t text you just out of kindness. But he will text you if attracted to your looks, humor, smarts, personality, or anything else. Get him to text you first by accentuating your most attractive qualities, and make sure your guy notices them. Remember that emphasizing your most attractive features only works if he’s already drawn to you. You can’t make a guy feel attracted to you so that he’ll text you first.
If you like having a guy who’s fun to be around, then know that your guy wants the same thing in you. When you’re with the guy, enjoy his company. Whenever you have the chance to be with him, be funny and flirtatious. Keep an open mind to try new activities or places to go; they might give him something to text you about the next day.
Once you show him how much fun you are, he won’t forget you. Anytime you meet him in person, do something memorable. Say something cute when you say goodbye. Wear a blouse he’s sure to notice. Have an upbeat demeanor, or make him feel special when you’re with him. He just might text you later with a compliment.
End Each Conversation on a Good Note
Parting doesn’t have to mean sweet sorrow. When you say goodbye after getting together, leave on a high note. Give him a lasting impression, so the lovely vibes will linger and compel him to text you later. If you’re conversationally gifted, end the interaction with something witty or a phrase that will trigger his curiosity. If your relationship is more intimate, give him a sexy hint to think about.
Meet His Friends
Your guy probably wants to know that you fit in with his friends. Consider asking to meet his buddies. If your guy has quality friends, they might want to make sure you’re a good fit for him or at least are a good person. If you get along with his friends, the more he’ll like you, which might encourage him to text you more.
Don’t have a life? Go get one, and then make sure he knows you have a life outside of him. It’s not attractive to be available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The more accessible you are, the less valuable your time will be to him. That means the less likely he’ll be to text you first. Therefore, create a sense of urgency. Get busy with other things, and don’t drop everything to be with him or answer his texts, especially if you have something else going on. If he texts you, give it at least a half-hour before responding; just don’t ignore him.
Don’t Be Needy
Desperation cools attraction. Even a whiff of desperation will drive your guy away, not to mention keep him from texting you at all. Neediness is really a state of mind, and if that’s what you’re feeling, then you need to gain some self-confidence and realize that you don’t need any guy to complete you. Although you’d like him to text you first, the truth is that you don’t need it to be okay. Speaking of self-confidence–that’ll do more to get him to text you first.
Take Incremental Steps
If you start texting a guy you like, don’t move too quickly. If you start right away with marathon texting, he’ll lose interest and stop texting you altogether. Instead, send a few texts and don’t push the back-and-forth texting too hard; otherwise, there won’t be any room for your conversations to grow. Leave some downtime between texting, and build up the pace of your texts gradually. For even better results, text at a pace that both of you are comfortable with. That way, he’ll be more motivated to initiate a text on his own.
Ask Him to Text the Moment He’s Free
Do you have something you need to discuss with your guy? Let him know, and he’ll text you when he’s free. Make sure he knows it should be when he’s available, and not drop everything to text you. It’ll keep him curious about why you want to text him. Just make sure you have something legitimate to talk about so that he doesn’t feel manipulated.
Ask Him to Text You
It might not hurt to be direct. When you’re together, just ask the guy to send you a text now and then. If your phone has been too silent lately, ask him why he doesn’t text you. Tell him you love getting texts from him; he might not come to that realization on his own. At least he’ll know that his effort to text you first means a lot to you.
Quit Stressing About It
Not only will stressing about his texting do harm to you; it’ll kill any chances of his texting you first, if at all. When you stress, you overanalyze, which can kill any relationship you might have with this guy. Besides, stress will mess with any positive vibes you have, and it’s a big turn-off for him.
If Nothing Works, Find Acceptance
Maybe nothing will work when figuring out how to get a guy to text you without texting him. Perhaps acceptance is the way to go. If he likes you but doesn’t text you first, maybe he’d rather call and talk on the phone; you can learn to be okay with that. If he’s not interested in you, then stop texting him, move on, and recognize that it’s his loss.
If a guy doesn’t text you first, it’s not necessarily because he’s not into you; maybe he’s just not into texting. It’s up to you to find out for sure. Pick a strategy you’re most comfortable with and try getting him to text you first. Remember, no matter how much you want a guy to text you first, you should only invest your energy on a guy who’s actually into you.