Welcome back to Text Sensei. Today we want to go over seven texting mistakes we want you to avoid when texting guys! After reading this article, you will be well on your way to texting guys better.
Technology is brilliant. It has modernized society in so many ways, while we can now easily whip out our phones to send a message to anyone. It does come with its own unique set of challenges, particularly with texting and dating.
If you’ve agonized over questions like…
‘should I text him?’
‘should I text him first?’
‘would he get turned off if I send him this message?’
….then keep watching as I’m about to show you what to text and (more importantly) what NOT to text a guy in these situations!
Texting is such an easy way to stay connected to people and yet there are certain things that women do that ends up being one of the biggest turnoffs for guys.
Texting Mistake Number 1
The first mistake you should avoid is texting too much! Texting too much can make the other person feel that you’re too needy or clingy. Neediness is an unattractive trait both for men and women, so don’t overwhelm him with your messages.
If you’re unsure whether you should text him or not, a good rule of thumb is to match his frequency. Initially, text for text is a good rule of thumb for sure. You can lead by sending the first text from time to time but don’t make it a habit. Let him lead too! No chasing here!
Texting Mistake Number 2
Number two is always asking him questions. Of course, I understand that you want to get to know more about him, fair enough! Yet some women are so desperate to hear back from a man that they ask so many questions. Remember, this isn’t an interrogation!
If you want to know how to text a guy effectively. I recommend using statements for example instead of asking ‘what are you doing?’text him ‘Hope you’re having a super day’ instead. Rather than asking ‘are you free this weekend’ text him ‘if you’re free this weekend. Let’s catch up.’
Of course, some questions will be appropriate but don’t overdo it. Most women use questions to hook a man into a texting conversation but know that a statement can still start a conversation equally as well if done in the right way, and it doesn’t feel so pressured for the guy. If a guy wants to continue the conversation, he will! No need to bombard him!
Texting Mistake Number 3
Mistake number three is expecting fast responses! Nobody is glued to their phone 24/7 so expecting him to respond to your text quickly or within a time frame that is favorable to you will encourage overthinking on your end.
These questions will start running through your head as you overthink!!
‘Why isn’t he replying?’
‘Did I say something wrong?’
‘Oh my God should I have said that in another way?’
These type of expectations (and the pressure they create in a texting conversation) will only hurt you in the end. By the time he replies you will already be all wound up to the point of not being able to communicate well with him which could actually ruin your chances with this guy! Let go of response expectations and surrender rather than being fearful. Trust that he likes you and try not to worry about fast response times. It is human nature to start reading way too much into the situation if you do. He will respond soon enough!
Texting Mistake Number 4
This mistake links to the last, and that is about confronting a man who is slow to respond to your texts, or simply taking it way too personally!
Be careful to not jump to conclusions! A man responding slowly to your texts is not a direct reflection on you and how much he likes you. He could legitimately be busy!
It is so easy to read a text because it pops up on your phone, even though you are not in a position to reply at that time. Maybe you are deep in a conversation with someone else or busy at work! In fact, in many cases if we try to text at this time it is seen as rude!
The bottom line is that there will be times that he’s able to respond immediately and other times it can take a number of hours. I know you want to hear from him immediately, but this is not realistic and he shouldn’t get stick from you for being busy at times.
Our phones are a tool to allow for easy communication, but we should not be slaves to them.
However, if 95% of the time he takes hours or days to respond, then this could show that he’s not interested in you! Either that, or he’s really bad at texting communication. If you find a guy like this and you still think he likes you, maybe a quick conversation about texting expectations would do the trick. But it still doesn’t always mean he doesn’t like you!
Texting Mistake Number 5
Mistake number five is taking too long to respond! There are women who take too long to respond on purpose. Some women feel that if they do this it will make the guy chase them.
Its the whole ‘treat them mean keep them keen’ idea. That treating men in a mean way will keep them keen! While it’s true a lot of men are happy to do some chasing, taking this too far can actually backfire.
What most men want is some encouragement, just like the men you like, sometimes you’ll be free to respond quite quickly and other times you’ll be busy. It’s only natural to mix it up. Remember what I said in our first point. A good rule of thumb is to match his texting frequency and don’t really overdo it.
Also if you were truly busy and didn’t mean to respond late, then just let him know that you got caught up with something in your life which made you respond late! No worries!
Texting Mistake Number 6
Mistake number six is one word messages! If you text him things like ‘hi’ or ‘sup’ or WYD ‘what ya’ doing?’, or worse just a question mark these messages will obviously not engage him.
It sounds like you’re not interested in talking to him or that you’re bored and just looking for something to pass the time. It can also come across like you’re insecure and testing him by hedging his interest and not taking a risk.
Guys do this too, so if you’re going to text him be a little more creative! If you tend to be rather short in your texts, then be mindful to mix it up. But if you’re the opposite of this and you send really long detailed messages, then pay attention to the next mistake below 🙂
Texting Mistake Number 7
Last but certainly not least! This mistake is all about TMI texting! (Too much information!!) This is sending him away too much information, like blow-by-blow details of your day that ends up reading like a novel!
Sure you can tell them about your day, but don’t overwhelm or bore him! The way to do this is to share something about yourself and then fire a question back to him for his chance to give input.
If you told him a particular highlight of your upcoming weekend that you’re looking forward to, do the same for him. Ask him ‘What about you? Do you have something planned for the weekend?’ This way the conversation moves forward and it feels more like a back and forth instead of just a monologue from you.
There you have it!!
Well, there you have it! The seven common texting mistakes you can try to avoid! Following these simple rules will help you nurture texting communications with guys in the right way!
It’s easy to send a message, but knowing how to do it in a way that will allow him to connect with you on a deeper level is the tricky part. So avoid these texting mistakes to take your texting to the next level!
If you have your own experiences or tips about texting guys, we would love to hear all about them in the comments section below 🙂
Happy texting – Text Sensei out!